who is

being absent for blogging makes me missing alot writing and it's not that i was busy to make up my life, but you know when your fingers wouldn't want to type and when you've been trying so hard to make sth to write in your mind and you don't actually figure it out.
So yes. i owe you guys an apology for this boring page.

Speaking of life btw, i've been great these days. Some great friends of mine are so much conforting, and you know when it comes to girls and the crews gathering; tell you what, that isn't that bad after all.

cheers to my immature

I realized that i haven't moved a single step from where i was, and i am a certain fool. I dont really know how to express my thoughts in writing but how i feel was really selfish and immature, i guess i'll just be me on my own. no one understand, not even my parents, sister, or even my friends. I don't really know what's the point of my existance right now, i feel like i'm just a total dufus, who's just in other people's way, even the closest people just had a way to break me, thanks. can i just disappear from this world? everyone will be fine without me anyway. now i feel like i'm the lowest creature on earth, someone just help me and get me out of here. do i need to see someone? like a psychologist? oh man i'm really taking myself on a ride down low. can somebody just understand me? where are they when i need them? nowhere. they won't get it if i'm sad. forget it. bye

I badly need some rest and sleep

Please do bear with me. I'm having this sleepless night. Yes, I do sleep at dawn already, hearing the crowing of the rooster. I guess I'm head over heels enamored with the character. It's really unique. It has made me be temporarily detached from the real world. But I'll be going back and this fantasy will be over. I wish it won't have to be this way. I'm having this black thingy which makes me seeing nothing but black and got a heavy headache in the morning and truth to be told, I'm done with these stuffs. I'll definitely miss these sleepless nights, going gaga over these stuffs. It's lunatic. but I'm sure I'll be sleeping early this time: 12 AM! 

don't you think people talk behind your back?

Yeah, I do. Not because I'm a paranoid or something like that, I do know that I tend to make mistakes in talking or behaving which my friends consider irritating or else. And sometimes, people misconceive others' words or behaviors, don't they? It is quite a typical matter anyway.
And actually, I don't really care.

Life is full of choices. You choose one and with it you land a step ahead. But remember, you can never step back, you can never press ctrl+Z and undo your choice. Nonetheless, every choice has its risk. A risk somebody has to endure in order to land in front of everybody.

I believe happiness will find its way

I am typing at 9.10am Medan's time. I'm having 2 days off. How are you all? I hope everything was fine. Although mine was not pretty good but I try to chin up and smile cus I believe, I will walk through all these difficulties.

So yeah, I actually had a pretty good days. However, the wall of happiness seems to break down again and again, what do you expect when the walls of your happiness break down? Yeah I don't know why certain people can't move and carry on with life. Mine is tough and hard enough that sometime I get so pissed off when those people come and try to messed up mine.

I know in life, I should get through certain process. It hurts. It hurts to the core to be true. However, there is also no point to live in all the sadness and disappointment. True? Oh well, that is what I think. One guy told me that my way of thinking is naive and so on. I tell you, it's not naive. I just try to be positive cus I believe when I send out all the positivity vibe, that is what I will get in return.

I started to not give a damn of whatever people say about me or what they try to judge me. Why? Yeah, you know, people change. People come and go. People move on. That's what I do. I don't wish to change but all these problems made me change. I learn and change to someone better. I wish you did though.. Last, stop living in the sadness cus I believe that one day, happiness will find its own way to reach us. Be patient. Have faith.

august plans

PLANS FOR THIS AUGUST:

• swallow down my pride and ego
• to be more diligent (trust me, I tried for like hundredth times but still.. failed)
• more confidence
• more loves, less fight *peace*
• to make things work out well
• gain some weight, uhh
• less surfing the internet and concentrate more on my studies
• everything will perfect on my birthday
• last but not least, less shopping.

so I guess that's all, yeahh..

xx, vira