Eating, loving, singing and digesting are, in truth, the four acts of the comic opera known as life, and they pass like bubbles of a bottle of champagne. Whoever lets them break without having enjoyed them is a complete fool.- Gioacchino Rossini

the dolls of love

Here's a touching story, that things might not be what they seem. Surprises and the sweetest of them comes in small packages. And this story shows just that, don't underestimate the littlest of gestures for they might actually be the ones which you will remember for life.

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him.

Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl…

“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.

“I can’t”

“Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment

grabbing me.

“No… I am going to meet a friend…”

He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’ before. To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all.

He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days…200days… Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don’t know why…

Then one day…

Me: Um, Jin, I …

Jin: What…don’t drag, just say..

Me: I love you.

Jin: ……you….um, just take this doll and go home.

That was how he ignored my ‘three words’ and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many…

Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon the sky was dark… he still didn’t call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.

Me: Jin…

Jin: Here…take this…

Again, he handed me a little doll.

Me: What’s this?

Jin: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I’m going home now, bye.

Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?

Jin: Today? Huh?

I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen.Then I shouted… “Wait…”

Jin: You have something to say?

Me: Tell me, tell me you love me…

Jin: What?!

Me: Tell me

I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left.

“I don’t want to say…that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else.”

That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb… and I collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily… How could he…. I felt that… Maybe he is not the right guy for me…

After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn’t call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room… everyday

After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that… I saw him on a street… with another girl… He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me…as he touched the doll… I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell… Why did he gave these to me… Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls…In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him.

He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that… it’s going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.

Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?

I couldn’t help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual…

Me: I don’t need it.

Jin: What….why…

I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.

Me: I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t want to see a person like you again!

I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.

“I’m sorry”

He apologized in a tiny voice.

He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll…

Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!

But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then…

Honk~ Honk~

With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.

“Jin! Move! Move away!” I shouted…

But he didn’t hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.

“Jin, move!”

HONK~!!

“Boom!” That sound, so terrifying.

That’s how he went away from me.

That’s how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.

After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him… And after spending two months like a crazy person… I took out the dolls.

Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days… when we were in love…

“One…two… three…”

That was how… I started to count the dolls…

“Four hundred and eighty four… four hundred and eighty

five…”

It all ended with 485 dolls.

I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly, then suddenly…

“I love you~, I love you~”

I dropped the dolls,shocked.

“I….lo..ve…you??”

I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.

“I love you~ I love you~”

It can’t be! I pressed all the dolls’ stomach as it piled on the side.

“I love you~”

“I love you~”

“I love you~”

Those words came out non-stop. I…love you… Why didn’t I realize that….That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn’t I realize that he love me this much… I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach,

that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much…

“Jo…Do you know what today is? We’ve been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn’t say I love you…. Um… since I was too shy… If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you… everyday… till I die… Jo… I love you…”

The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only know about all this now? He can’t be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute…

For that… and for that reason… to me… it became courage… to live a beautiful life….

chilling at starbucks

everlasting love

One fine day, an old couple around the age of 70, walks into a lawyer's office.
Apparently, they are there to file a divorce.

Lawyer was very puzzled, after having a chat with them, he got their story....
This couple had been quarreling all their 40 over yrs of marriage nothing ever seems to go right.

They hang on because of their children, afraid that it might affect their up-bringing. Now, all their children have already grown up, have their own family, there's nothing else the old couple have to worry about, all they wanted is to lead their own life free from all these years of unhappiness from their marriage, so both agree on a divorce....

Lawyer was having a hard time trying to get the papers done, because he felt that after 40 yrs of marriage at the age of 70, he couldnt understand why the old couple would still want a divorce..

While they were signing the papers, the wife told the husband..
"I really love u, but i really cant carry on anymore, I'm sorry.."
"Its o.k, i understand.." said the husband. Lookin at this, the lawyer suggested a dinner together, just 3 of them,wife thought, why not, since they are still gonna be friends..

At the dining table, there was a silence of awkardness.
The first dish was roasted chicken, immediately, the old man took the drumstick for the old lady.."take this, its your favourite.."

Looking at this, the lawyer thought maybe theres still a chance, but the wife was frowning when she answer.."
This is always the problem, you always think so highly of yourself, never thought about how I feel, dont you know that i hate drumsticks?"

Little did she know that, over the years, the husband have been trying all ways to please her, little did she know that drumsticks was the husband's favourite. Little did he know that she never thought he understand her at all, little did he know that she hates drummsticks even though all he wants is the best for her.

That night, both of them couldnt sleep, toss and turn, toss and turn...after hours, the old man couldnt take it anymore, he knows that he still loves her, and he cant carry on life without her, he wants her back, he wants to tell her, he is sorry, he wanted to tell her "i love you"...

He picks up the phone, starting dialing her number....ringing never stops..he never stop dialing....

On the other side, she was sad, she couldn’t understand how come after all these years, he still doesnt understand her at all, she loves him a lot, but she just cant take it anymore....phone's ringing, she refuses to answer knowing that its him..."whats the point of talking now that its over...i have ask for it and now i wanna keep it this way, if not i will lose face.."she thought...still ringing...she have decided to pull out the cord...

Little did she remember, he have heart problems...

The next day, she received news that he had passed away...she rushed down to his apartment, saw his body, lying on the couch still holding on to the phone...he had a heart attack when he was still trying to get through her phone line....

As sad as she could be...she will have to clear his belongings...when she was looking thru the drawers, she saw this insurance policy, dated from the day they got married, with the beneficiary being her... And together in those file, there was this note...

"To my dearest wife, by the time you're reading this, I'm sure I'm no longer around, I bought this policy for you, though the amount is only $100k, I hope it will be able to help me continue my promise that i have made when we got married, I might not be around anymore, I want this amount of money to continue taking care of you, just like the way I will if I could have live longer. I want you to know Iwill always be around, by your side... I love you"

Tears flowed like river......

"When you love someone, let them know... You never know what will happen the next minute.... Learn to build a life together.. Learn to love each other. For who they are.. not what they are..."

maybe someday they will approach us back

People come and go. Moments and memories last, despite how far you have stretched the time with that person. The boat may have sailed by the shore in the beginning, but distractions have often act as an exceptions for us to sail even deeper; even risker. Those countable hours, probably days, or months to be simpler have been fun. Delightful indeed, truth to be told I needed the laughters.

boredom strikes

seriously, I looked like a total idiot.

hipster <3

today is the day where friends turns into husband and wife.

just got home from my aunt's wedding party. well yea, it's pretty tiring, but it's such a lovely day. seeing the couple were smiling happily, it flashed a smile outta my face. the theme of the party is off-white so we decided to use the dress with the korean style, not to mention I'm wearing this high heels and seriously, it kills my feet. the party starts at about 8 30 pm. so at about 12, I went to the guest room and took a nap. lol. I'm just too tired that I can't even bare to walk anymore. enough of my bla bla bla. here some shots :)

more snapshots? *clickclickclick*

xxo

pretending

currently in love with this songg~

sang by the GLEE cast

so yea, here's the lyrics :)

Face to face and heart to heart

We're so close yet so far apart

I close my eyes I look away

That's just because I'm not okay

But I hold on I stay strong

Wondering if we still belong

Will we ever say the words we're feeling

Deep down underneath it

Tear down all the walls

Will we ever have a happy ending

Or will we forever only be pretending

We will always be pretending

How long do I fantasize

Make believe that it's still alive

Imagine that I am good enough

If we can choose the ones we love

But I hold on I stay strong

Wondering if we still belong

Will we ever say the words we're feeling

Deep down underneath it

Tear down all the walls

Will we ever have a happy ending

Or will we forever only be pretending

Will we (oh oh) always (oh oh) be keeping secrets safe

Every move we make

Seems like nowhere's safe to go

And it's such a shame

Cuz if you feel the same

How am I supposed to know

Will we ever say the words we're feeling

Deep down underneath it

Tear down all the walls

Will we ever have a happy ending

Or will we forever only be pretending

Will we (oh oh) always (oh oh) be pretending

bye,v.

summer vacay. uhhyea

the video was taken during our summer trip to singapore and KL so yea, check em out! :}

                     

bye,v.

rings n heels

so yea, I currently in love with these things also. I bought a lot of them during my trip. teheee

these are some of the rings that i bought.

holiday is over

I'm going back to school on 11th July and yea that is fucking fast. grr, I need more holiday! anyway, I spent my holiday at singapore and Kuala Lumpur for only a week. yea, that's fast. ugh -_-- so here's some amazing story. lol. On sunday, I went to KLCC with all my family including my bestie, chelsea. We went there to meet my boyfie's brotherrrsss. and my heart was beating real fast. Meeting his family wasn't easy, well it was the hardest part. But before that sasha and chelsea were mocking me and they told me they did some welcome dance for us. excuse me? but yea I totally have a great lunch with 'em. so enough of this crazy story. blahblahblah

Holiday means a lot of shopping. HAHA. me and my sista taking the advantage and bought loads of things to complete our wardrobe. LOL. so I currently in love with hipster thingy so I bought things that are seems to be hipster. yeayyy! so yea, I'm going to post some holiday picts that we took by macbook. I'll upload which are taken from the camera soon :)

EXCUSE OUR SWAGGGGGGG

kay.lol.bye,

V

come a little closer

Honey, Come a little closer,
Let me whisper in your ear.
Let me tell it to you softly,
So that no one else will hear.

What I have to say is private,
And is just between us two,
Just want you, to know how much,
I love the things you do...